Love in an Envelope: Letter Writing for Kids

040Before I write this post, I have to tell you that I am biased about it, because there are few things I like more than getting a handwritten letter in the mail.  I’m sure this pleasure if a rarity for most people these days, and I count myself very lucky that I can remember the last time I received such a gift, which was about two years ago.

In this age of ten-second tweets and texts, the slow intention of a physical note can be a real gem, and I was plain excited when my six year old finished drawing a picture and then asked to mail it to his cousin.  I tried not to drop what I was doing to pull out an envelope.

My son is still working on his handwriting, and addressing the envelope – right down to making the letters small enough to fit – was work for him.   But he kept at it and finished the task.  I was delighted when he looked up, and asked to do more.

In the end, he drew four pictures and messages specifically for his cousins and a friend.  He addressed four envelopes, stamped them, and was the one who dropped them in the post box.

A few days later, I got two emails from my siblings, both saying how they and their kids were touched by the letters.  My sister-in-law said my brother brought the letters out at then end of a tiring and busy day, and it brought smiles to everyone.  We got a lunch invitation out of it from my sister.  Both families said the envelopes were kept, as that’s where so much of the effort of a burgeoning writer was found.

From this, I’ve determined that letter writing (or even mostly envelope writing, as the case was with us) is a wonderful way for children not just to practice their writing skills, but also to warm the hearts of the people around them.  Maybe the slowness of making those painstakingly printed letters somehow slows something down in the reader.  Whatever it is, something about it seems to feel good.  

My son’s birthday is around the corner, and topping the gift list from me is a homemade letter writing kit.  It will be a simple affair – a box with a lid, envelopes of different sizes, notepaper, writing utensils, and stamps – but the box will be infused with the special wish that lots of letters and love will flow out of it.

 

Chess Moves

I read this wonderful article about chess ages ago, and it has stuck with me.  When things stick with me, I like to write about them, tease out what has gotten under my skin in good or bad ways.  In this case, it’s all good, and I want to share.  The article is about how chess has transformed the students in a Brooklyn school, and how it has given so many of them the sweet taste of success.  The school, a middle school, won United States Chess Federation’s national high school championship, beating top-ranked high schools.

I should start by saying that I cannot play chess.  I actually have no interest in learning.  (Oddly, I do covet all manner of themed chess sets, but that’s a love of the visual and of the stories that the themed sets represent.)  My five year old regularly beats me at checkers, so I don’t think my chances are very good if I take up chess.  My brain simply does not do well with spatial logic, and I lack the particular brand of patience required for strategic planning.  But I did grow up with there being a deep love of chess in our household.  I associate it most profoundly with my father’s few relaxed hours, with my father challenging family friends or my brother to a game on lazy Sunday afternoons, the enforced hush around them in reverence to their concentration.  We moved from country to country every few years, but one constant was my father’s cream-coloured wooden box with his chess pieces, a box that was, frustratingly, just slightly too big to fit into his briefcase no matter how hard he tried.  I can hear the pieces now, rattlling around as he carries them to the board.

Chess is one of the activites offered all through the year as an after-school activity at the boys’ school, and my eldest, who is in his last year of elementary, has been playing chess since Grade 1.  He loves it, and I love to see that his grandfather’s passion for the game has passed to him.  I love it even more when he beats my father, fair and square.  There are not many playing fields on which children and adults can meet on equal footing, but chess has proven to be one of them in our family.  The two kids who play (11 and 7) are capable of beating their father, grandfather, uncles and friends.  I love what that teaches them about the value of patience and persistence, about the chances of the little guy.

But it’s not just their performance on the board that makes me wax lyrical about the benefits of the game.  Indeed, if there is one thing the head chess coach wants to plant firmly in the minds of his young charges, it’s “Think before you act.”  There are limitless possibilities to the applicability of that wisdom, and I think I’ve uttered it more than a thousand times in my parenting life.  And that is why I lit up when I read this part of the article:

The walls [of the classroom] are plastered with chess tips that read like maxims for living life: “When you don’t know what to do next, improve your worst piece” reads one, written in felt-tip marker. “If you’re winning, play safe and keep the game clean and simple. If you are losing, take risks and complicate the game.”

When my eldest tried out for competitive hockey, the coach said, “I can tell that he is a chess player.  He’s always steps ahead of the play.”  What joy to hear that the maxims that the chess coaches were teaching him were translating to other areas of his life.  Chess does move in mysterious ways, its wonders to behold.

Knitting With A Boy

011My oldest is knitting!!

It started a few months ago, when his grade 1 class learned how to fingerknit.  And he has been fingerknitting little belts and strings in the car, at home, and even during a (long-ish) musical concert.  He’ll ask if he can knit, then go to the little wooden shelf where I keep my modest stash of yarn, and fingerknit away.  It’s marvelous.

He also asked me several months ago if he could do some knitting with two needles, and we tried.  It was a bit too tricky, and we shelved the project for another day.  And I confess that although he has asked me a few times since then to try knitting again, I’ve resisted, thinking it was still a bit too early to learn.

But I put it squarely on the table again, when I picked up the needles again myself a little while ago.  Also, my son’s class is moving to knitting with needles soon too.  This, and seeing me work, prompted him to ask again if he could learn to knit, and thank goodness I said yes.

Somehow, something seems to have shifted, and he is ready for it.  He works hard at his knitting, because it is a challenge for such young hands.  It’s not easy, but we are encouraged by all the little steps that show improvement, and I am amazed at how often he asks to knit.  (Like when I am buckling all three kids into the car, for example.)

When we were working on a first little project, the metal needles kept slipping.  I wondered aloud if we should try some bamboo needles, which might be less slippery.  My oldest was very excited about that, and we quickly determined to go to our local yarn shop to buy him some bamboo needles just the right size for him, and a skein of his own yarn.

My son was so keen on going that he helped develop a plan:  we could go while one of his younger brothers was in afternoon kindergarten and the other could be taken in the stroller and nap there.  Also, he said, we could knit there.

And I realized that every word he spoke was true.  My son has gone with me several times to the yarn shop, and seen the knitters who gather at its centre to knit together.  Never have I sat there to knit; I have always been with a child, and also felt a bit shy to join in, as the knitters were experienced and knew each other.

But now I was fortified by an eager companion.  We would go!

And we did, both of us doing something new, learning together.

And it was so nice.

Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!

My middle son turned 5 yesterday.  Where has the time gone?  It feels like yesterday that I walked into the hospital extremely pregnant and anxious.  I was overwhelmed at the idea of having two children close to 16 months apart but it felt like old hat walking into Labor and Delivery on April 01, 2008, like I had left but had forgotten something and was back for one more.

The triage nurse who admitted me couldn’t believe that I was about to have a baby.  She had pegged my bump at 7 months along and was shocked when I told her that I was starting my 39th week.

A few hours later our second little boy was born.  He came into the world with a shrill scream and furled in a tight ball.  It’s funny how in that exact moment that we met he showed me his true personality: a feisty homebody who likes to be surrounded by his comforts.

We mark birthdays in a big way at our house.  I love birthdays – an entire day dedicated to celebrating someone special.  My boys have parties with their friends that I gladly assume the responsibility of planning and an elaborate dinner with our large family is always a must.

My now 5 year old has strong ideas about his parties.  He knows exactly what he wants to eat, how he wants the house decorated and where the piñata will hang.  As early as three years old he would dictate the theme of the party and pitch-in with the planning and preparation.

Last year, our entire family descended on our house dressed as pirates and this year it will be ninjas.

Quick tip: do not Google “ninja costumes for women” with your child on your lap.  There will be a lot of stutters, back pedaling and frantic mouse clicking.

Pintrest has offered a wealth of inspiration but make no mistake, it can also make one feel pretty inadequate in a hurry.  We decided on a list of activities and games and of course, a cake.  I will bake the cake but I have had to talk myself down from some of the more lofty examples found on-line.  I know my limits and Martha Stewart, I am not.

This is my favourite ninja item that we have come across and it will be included in the loot bags.

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The back of the box reads:

Everybody was Kung-Fu writing,

Those words were fast as lightning.

In fact it was a little bit frightening,

But they wrote with expert timing…

How could I resist?

Available here.

The Benefits of Being a City Kid

027One of the benefits of being a city kid is that it is not beyond the realm of possibility that you may one day play in the big leagues.  Well, on the big league’s turf, anyway, which is what happened for my middlest son this weekend.  His house league team sold the most tickets to a Toronto Marlies Game, and their reward was to play their house league game on professional ice at the Ricoh Coliseum.  With his dad on the coaching bench, his mother in the front row, and his brothers watching and cheering his every play, our star player had one of his best games ever.  See that Goal #2?  That was his, along with three assists to help his team to a 5-3 win.  A beauty of a game that not only made me a proud mother but a proud city-dweller, too.

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Valentine’s Day Advent Calendar?

I pretty much swore that I would never, not ever, do another season of three boys’ home-stuffed advent calendars after this Christmas, after struggling to fill 72 pockets with meaning and fun at little expense in 24 days, but what can I say?  I’ve got the countdown bug, and, God help me, I’m thinking about it again for Valentine’s Day.

6a0105349b1e5c970b0147e1687be6970b-450wiThe spark was Beth-Anne’s post on Tuesday, with the link to EAB Design’s printable templates for a dozen cards to count the ways you love your loved ones, and now I’m in a countdown frame of mind again.  We could spend February 1 making our individual mail boxes, and then send each other a dozen notes, one a day, until Valentine’s Eve on the 13th.  I love the idea of us all “mailing” each other little love notes for all the days leading up to Valentine’s Day.  Much better than roses.  I love the idea of collecting 48 messages of love in the days leading up to what is, let’s face it, just another candy fest for the kids.  The appeal is the even dozens.  The image of the kids diligently writing their ever-so-thoughtful messages to each other and to us each night.  The structured distribution of cards.  One a day.

Like vitamins.

And that’s the crux of the appeal of countdowns for me: they are structured, predictable, easy, orderly and neat.  Unlike my life.  The ideal image of the kids putting thoughtful messages down on paper with clockwork predictability each evening is nothing like the reality of how much work it would take to get bums in seats and pens to paper.  Sigh.  The ideal image is nothing like the enormous effort it takes to even approximate structure, predictability, neatness.  So I drive myself crazy trying to create neatness and order with calendars and trying to tame the force of chaos that is inherent in a family of five.

So I guess I am still debating whether to subject myself to this particular brand of self-flagellation for yet another holiday.  I know that the boys would be thrilled to wake up each morning to a new clutch of notes, and I know that I will never manage to get them to write them without a battle with the forces of chaos.

Father Christmas

Raymond Briggs’ 1973 portrayal of a decidedly human Santa Claus, Father Christmas gets 71PDRDWHJVL._SS500_.gifmy vote as my favourite Christmas book ever. In this graphic novella, Briggs turns the traditional stereotypical view of Santa — jolly, benevolent, good natured — on its head.

Awoken from a dream about sunning himself on a tropical beach, Santa greets Christmas Eve with a mild curse: “Bloomin’ Christmas here again!”. This a very modern Santa, who grumbles about the weather (“bloomin’ snow!”) his herd (“bloomin’ deer!) and the demands of his work (“gettin’ a bloomin’ cold, now!”).  He’s a one-man show: with only a couple of reindeer to help him, and no mention of Mrs. Claus, we follow our man as he readies himself for the biggest day of the year: Christmas.   He flies around the United Kingdom delivering presents, visiting cottages and caravans, and ending, appropriately, at Buckingham Palace.  Gifts delivered, he settles down to a nice dinner, a lovely nip of brandy, a cigar (I know!) and peruses travel catalogs for warmer climes,  which is just what you’d probably want to do too, if you were in his boots.

There are few words in this book (and most of them are the word “bloomin’!”) but Briggs’ colourful and evocative illustrations more than make up for the absence of text.  I’ve blogged about this book before, at least in its movie form, so great is my affection for it.  Father Christmas appears to be out of print here in Canada, but it is available from Amazon.com.uk. and abebooks.com

Can’t catch me, I’m the Ninjabread Man!

Beth-Anne was talking about these this evening, and in the spirit of the season, I’m sharing them with you.

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Aren’t those cool? I’m thinking these cookie cutters are required for some stealthy pre-Christmas baking:

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Don’t be alarmed if the butter sneaks up on the sugar.

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters are $10.99 at IQ Living online or at 542 Danforth Avenue.

(Full disclosure: No promotional fee or benefit was provided to us. We know what you like!)

Super Stocking Stuffers

I am going to take a page from Jenny’s Books, and say, without any trace of humility, “I am a good gift giver.”  I know that this is not the season to blow one’s own horn, but the angels’ trumpets won’t do this justice.  I am just that good a gift giver.  Partly, this is because I shop all year for Christmas, so there is usually very little of the last-minute scramble that can lead to a bad gift choice.  Partly, it’s because I shop by theme and am always keeping an eye out for the themes that recur in our lads’ lives.  (Hockey, Lego, hockey, Lego.)

Here are some of my favourite finds for the boys’ stockings this year.  (Please don’t tell them!)

Lego Cutlery for the Lunchboxlego

Well, in a house of Lego-lovers, sometimes you have to just go with the theme.  The theme in the past has included Lego erasers, Lego mini-figure ice trays, and Lego sticker books.

Hot Chocolate on a Stick

imagesCAH1S8TQIf you google “hot chocolate on a stick” you can even find instructions for how to make it yourself!  (It makes a great teacher’s gift.)

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Dragon Hand Puppet Tattoos

There is a whole line of these temporary tattoos, but these are my favourite, hands down (ha!).

hockey tape

Novelty Hockey Tape

Easy and useful.

jelly babies

Jelly Babies

Oh, OK.  These are mostly for me.  A trip down memory lane to the England of my youth.  I want the kids to love them, too, though, so I keep putting them in the stockings each year!  I have yet to convert them to the joys of dandelion and burdock, however.

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Advent Calendars

One of my favourite traditions at Christmas is the kids’ advent calendars.  We celebrate a totally secular Christmas in our house, but the spirit of generosity, the gathering of loved ones, and the count-down to the Big Day are all part of our Christmases.  Counting down with the advent calendars is always such fun, and December is, by far, the easiest month for getting the boys out of bed in the morning.  This year, we will be doing the advent calendars in the mornings, and all snuggling up with the Christmas Book Advent Calendar in the evenings.  A Christmas-themed or wintery book to unwrap each night.  I can’t wait!  (Tune in next week for my list of books.)

Last year, it was a Very Merry Lego Christmas, and the advent calendars reflected that.  This year, the two eldest boys have opted for home-made calendars, in which they make a poster-sized calendar with 24 pockets, and I fill said pockets with treasure and clues to find treasure and special messages.  It’s a lot of work, and often a lot of midnight scrambling, but they love it and so do I.

The littlest is getting a Playmobil Santa’s Post Office this year, mostly because I want to play with the little wee envelopes! 

I like advent calendars so much, I even do one for my book blog.

I love advent.  It’s a way to make the fun of the holiday begin early, build gradually and end with a bang.  I’m hoping it becomes one of the boys’ most treasured traditions, too.